Yearning for clubs

Just an update on the most important issue that has ever seen fit to dance across the desk of my life.

I should hear about my kidnapped golf clubs by the first week of July. My fear is that whichever sinister soul is in control of my babies, they are telling them all sorts of falsehoods regarding my affection for them. I can imagine a conversation similar to the following:

Sinister Soul: "I'm really sorry your owner hasn't come to rescue you yet. I guess he doesn't love you."

Super Awesome Golf Clubs: "Don't you say that sinister soul! Deacon loves us as his he does his own Pembroke Welsh Corgi! He will be here....."

Sinister Soul: "I guess so. If loving you means he hates you and doesn't care to find you, I guess you're right."

Super Awesome Golf Clubs: "Hmmm. Though we suspect manipulation on your part, the validity of your point can't be ignored."

Sinister Soul: "I love you Super Awesome Golf Clubs. Would you like some Cheezits? You look hungry."

Super Awesome Golf Clubs: "Thanks dad. We love you too....."

(END SCENE)

Please think a good thought for my clubs......In the meantime I will continue yearning for their safe and expeditious return.